Smart, Smarter, Smartest Management
I will start this blog with a joke.
A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess. A tester comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away. After the tester has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like a tester, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."
Recently, I witnessed a great example of getting a CMMi level in a group. The team was working in the same way, for which they were used to of. There was a simple process defined for everything that fits down everywhere. That process could be defined in a single straight line – “We will not follow any process”. And the whole team was superb in justifying their “Single Process Oriented” behavior.
Then suddenly, a big giant hit the market. The name of that giant was “Recession”. Everywhere the giant was destroying the economy like anything. Although most of the professionals in that group are not aware of what is recession. But still they were afraid. And then the top management tried to exploit the situation. A mandate rule hit the company that all the groups should be CMMI level before the completion of the annual appraisals cycle. If not able to achieve the same, you will be befooled with the appraisals.
All the managers worked hard to achieve the CMMI level. They tried their best to introduce the processes and get it followed by the sub ordinates. Since everyone wants a good appraisal hike in his/her salary, irrespective of the fact that whether he/she is doing OK or not, all tried their best. The game played by top management was going to be a super hit show. Finally, after a time span of about two months, the group got the CMMI level and that too, before completion of the appraisals cycle.
And after that, the team got the appraisals. Not even a single team member in the group was happy to see his/her appraisals. There was a dissatisfaction wave flowing in the group.
And then what happened was expected from the situation. The team again started following the same process that they were following in the past and that was “We will not follow any process”.
I will start this blog with a joke.
A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess. A tester comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away. After the tester has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like a tester, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."
Recently, I witnessed a great example of getting a CMMi level in a group. The team was working in the same way, for which they were used to of. There was a simple process defined for everything that fits down everywhere. That process could be defined in a single straight line – “We will not follow any process”. And the whole team was superb in justifying their “Single Process Oriented” behavior.
Then suddenly, a big giant hit the market. The name of that giant was “Recession”. Everywhere the giant was destroying the economy like anything. Although most of the professionals in that group are not aware of what is recession. But still they were afraid. And then the top management tried to exploit the situation. A mandate rule hit the company that all the groups should be CMMI level before the completion of the annual appraisals cycle. If not able to achieve the same, you will be befooled with the appraisals.
All the managers worked hard to achieve the CMMI level. They tried their best to introduce the processes and get it followed by the sub ordinates. Since everyone wants a good appraisal hike in his/her salary, irrespective of the fact that whether he/she is doing OK or not, all tried their best. The game played by top management was going to be a super hit show. Finally, after a time span of about two months, the group got the CMMI level and that too, before completion of the appraisals cycle.
And after that, the team got the appraisals. Not even a single team member in the group was happy to see his/her appraisals. There was a dissatisfaction wave flowing in the group.
And then what happened was expected from the situation. The team again started following the same process that they were following in the past and that was “We will not follow any process”.
We may boldly state our commitment to quality and may even wave the banner of certification or process maturity. But the thing that really matters is how users experience our product. If they have to put up with frequent crashes, annoying bugs, or software that is difficult to use, our quality is merely a facade. Wrapping ourselves in the flags of ISO, CMM, or Six Sigma doesn't make our users feel any better.
The whole story had turned up into a summary line if you stand close to the management, you will hear the sea. But in any case, the management will always try to put you on the spot and will take certainly long time to make himself/yourself pointless. Management should not be dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
I will end up this blog with one more joke.
I will end up this blog with one more joke.
A man piloting a hot air balloon discovers he has wandered off course and is hopelessly lost. He descends to a lower altitude and locates a man down on the ground. He lowers the balloon further and shouts "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"Yes I do," replies the man. "And how did you know that?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "what you told me is technically correct, but of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect my immediate help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault!"
-- Sanat Sharma
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"Yes I do," replies the man. "And how did you know that?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "what you told me is technically correct, but of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect my immediate help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault!"
-- Sanat Sharma
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